hv u ever...?

There are times when i felt that the world are against me. as in the whole family are against me. wht ever i did is always wrong. as if there are conspiracies in my family. or i'm just being paranoid. or i'm just being annoying. i just don't understand mom and my sis. i don't. i don't even see the resemblance between me and my mom. Everything she does is perfect (not all..mostly are far from perfect). trying to be nice, i won't dare to say anything. let her think that way, and i'll just let her find out her own mistakes. she's a mother, that's what mothers always do.

whenever i'm angry, or there's something that is not right, i'd prefer to go for silent treatment. because i know, if i open up my mouth, bitter words would fly out of my mouth. i'm trying my best not to be selfish, i've always been. i've always put my family before myself, and look what happened... i don't blame my family, instead, i'm blaming myself. it's hard when i'm a self-critical person. but my family don't see me like this do they? they think i'm too self-absorbed and too lazy to think about others.

it's hard, it's hard to let it out to my own parents. it's hard. it's hard for me to explain the relationship, the situation. it always made me cry, whenver there's a crisis between me and my family, the first thing i do is broke down and cried. i caved in. crying's the best solution since ever. and i still haven't found the cure yet. i wish i can tell/talk to my friends, but sometimes it's hard. i'm not against my parents at all. there are times i wish they would stop, and listen. that's all i'm asking. love me for what i am, not who am i. i love them for what they are not who they are. i don't hate them. i can give hundreds of reason to hate them, but yet there are millions of reason not to.